The redevelopment of the grocery store forces us to play hide and seek
“Telling the future by looking at the past assumes that conditions remain constant. It’s like driving a car while looking in the rearview mirror.”
– Brody Grass
Why did they have to hide the toothpaste?
I asked myself the question while shopping for my mother in the store of her choice.
She had a little medical intervention and instead of sending flowers, I offered to go shopping. I am a practical guy.
Toothpaste was on her list and I went where I had found it in the past.
It wasn’t there. I was now looking at a vitamin carrier and thinking, “Here we go again.”
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You don’t hate it when grocery stores decide to makeover?
I know that a pinhead tech school graduate reviewed customer foot traffic reports, calculated recent supply chain disruptions, and endorsed several suggestions dropped by his boss just back from a ” retreat” on adopting the change.
But do they have problems with us?
I saw a store employee conferencing with another customer. He was looking for aspirin. Or need it. Or both.
She told him that she had no idea where the painkillers had gone from, but that she knew where he could find antacids. She had bought some herself that morning after dealing with several sharp-tongued buyers.
“They haven’t put up the signs yet, so everyone is walking around,” she said. “It’s going to be a long week.”
“Just send them to the beer counter,” I suggested helpfully.
Like I said, I’m a practical guy.
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THOUGHT OF THE DAY: I woke up this morning and swore to eat more vegetables, exercise regularly, and be nice to my neighbor. But that was four hours ago when I was younger and hopeful.
TODAY’S GROCERY JOKE: There was a long line at 6:45 a.m. at the neighborhood grocery store, which opened at 7 a.m. for “seniors only.”
A young man approached, looked at the crowd then tried to approach the door, but an elderly lady saw him, shouted “No you don’t!” and started beating him with an umbrella.
He came back a moment later from the other side of the crowd, but an older gentleman saw him, grabbed him by the collar and threw him to the sidewalk.
The young man slowly stood up, faced the blinding crowd and said, “Look, if you don’t let me unlock the door, you’ll never get inside.”
Bill Kirby has reported, photographed and commented on life in Augusta and Georgia for 45 years.